day 5: scorpie mica

imi place la tine ca din simpatie, imi spui despre tine lucruri care sunt ale mele despre mine.

solidaritate de soare.

dar macar pentru putin timp, nu sunt doar eu singura defecta in lumea asta. 

perfect. si cuvantul asta trebuie sa il repeti pana o sa il intelegi cu toate literele :):):) indiferent de ce ti-ar zice oricine altcineva.

si,  mai apoi sa invetzi sa te ascunzi.

eu nu vreau. 

tu vrei?

PS @ Anca: nu este despre tine, Ank. despre tine urmeaza..

day 4: nasa

i love you , nasa.

pentru ca ai fost langa mine cand nimeni altcineva in lumea asta nu era.
pentru ca, clipele alea nu se vor repeta niciodata.
pentru ca, vorbind cu tine, am descoperit o felie din lumea mea care nu stiam ca exista.
blindly trust vibrations.

si pana in ziua in care o sa primesti invitatie cu numele tau trecut pe ea, poti sa ne feliciti de acum.. 

day 3: Nicole

in anul 2013 care l-am declarat "al Nicoletelor",
la tine Nicole imi place curajul.
mai ca daca nu mi-ai fi zis ce esti, as fi crezut ca esti martiana.
imi place ca poti calcula mai multe variante, dar alegi sa o pui in practica si sa o influentezi pe cea mai pozitiva dintre ele.
de oameni ca tine avem nevoie in lumea asta. cu picioarele adanc infipte in pamant roditor.
nu neaparat in tzara asta!!
dar, sa stii ca ORICAND vrei sa ne apucam de facut inghetzata din retete secrete cunoscute doar de noi 2, sunt aici!

day 2: ce-mi place la tine, Muza

..ma inspiri. 

in zilele in care imi vine sa fug in lume si sa nu ma uit inapoi, imi amintesti ca rolul meu in lume e altul. 

respir si vad cerul atat de clar si senin. 

(si nu scriu mai multe cuvinte. acum. aici.)

day 1: positively stubborn D

de fapt, I love this about you.
de dintotdeauna. nu sunt in stare sa-mi amintesc o singura clipa cand sa te vad coplesita de viata. vreau si eu macar un pic din asta de la tine. cred ca atunci cand te-ai nascut tu, nu era nici un strop de praf de stele negru sau gri pe cer. si nu exista situatie in viata asta pe care sa nu poti tu sa o vezi mai pozitiv decat este sau decat s-ar putea cel mai probabil intampla. cateodata inteleg ca esti incapatanata si ca daca esti cu plus, asta e, o sa persisti incapatanata in asta. cateodata imi e ciuda ca nu intelegi ca lucrurile despre care eu vorbesc sunt triste. nu intelegi, nu? de cele mai  multe ori, imi repet, ca traim intr-o lume de orbi. orbi! pentru ca trebuie sa fii orb sa nu o vezi pe D asa stralucitor de roza cum e!!! 

darkest of the dark, brightest of the bright.

good for you, bad for my health. mind. spirit.

Scorpio Sun represents the darkest of the dark while Leo Moon represents the brightest of the bright. According to astrologer Jefferson Anderson, the collision of late autumn darkness with mid-summer sunshine produces the “Magnificent Obsession” who will be anything but pedestrian as they walk through life:

You stand apart from the crowd. A rugged individualist, you have tremendous confidence and self-sustaining vitality, which make it unnecessary for you to rely on others for encouragement. People sense you are a leader for your presence alone is compelling.

With a strong sense of the dramatic, you rarely do things halfway, and your actions and behavior are usually designed to attract attention. 

Scorpio Sun, at its most profound, has an deep understanding of others’ emotional pain. Leo Moon, at its most generous, will give of its time, energy, and money as freely as the Sun gives its light and warmth. The combination make for a Sun/Moon pairing that will bring sunshine (Leo) to those trapped within even the most subterranean of emotional situations (Scorpio). 

R. de la relatii : reciproce, mereu.

nu stiu relatie in viata mea pe care sa o fi inceput de la 0. sa dau ocazia omului sa imi demonstreze ca merita loc in viata mea. mereu am relationat cu ceilalti de la egal. mi-am dat mie 10, le-am dat si lor. 

.. am inteles recent, pentru ca mi-a repetat cineva de multe ori ca "people change, but past doesn't."

am zis celor care m-au intrebat, ca increderea incepe de la 10, si scade. si pentru ca sunt scorpie, scade pana ajunge la 0. atat. nu creste inapoi. ever. 

sunt suflete in lumea asta, care imi lipsesc si pe care le-as vrea mai aproape. am obosit de telefoane, de dialoguri in scris pe diverse aplicatii. incerc sa culeg din internet lucrurile pe care vreau sa vi le impart si le arunc pe perete. cine e curios despre mine si vrea sa le vada, le vede. as vrea sa pot fi cumva mai aproape, dar viata asta a ales altfel.

sunt oameni in viata asta, pe care, daca ar fi fost dupa mine nu as fi vrut sa ii cunosc ever. sunt oameni care, pentru ca am lectii de invatat, viata ma obliga sa ii accept in viata mea in fiecare zi.

sunt suflete pe care le vreau in lumea mea. dar pentru ca e gratuit, fara examen, fara taxa, cald si bine, ele nu vor. de ce ar vrea cineva sa fie fericit in fiecare clipa din fiecare zi? - atat de plictisitor!!!

dar, DAR. cu R de la relatii reciproce, respect, si inca ceva.. : eu nu vreau in viata mea oameni urati. si anul asta am invatzat sa spun verde in fata "dispari". si pentru ca am invatzat, si pot, si nu e chiar atat de dureros, chiar o sa fac asta. pentru ca degeaba iert si las de la mine sperand ca lumea poate fi mai buna. chiar degeaba.

nu am crezut niciodata, si nu o sa incep acum, in relatii instabil de isterice. in care azi lucrurile sunt bune si frumoase, maine ne certam si nu mai vorbim, poimaine pentru ca ai nevoie de ceva de la mine iti trece, raspoimaine mi se pare ca totusi te-as putea ierta, si peste o saptamana o luam de la capat. nu! refuz. daca suntem prieteni suntem pana in panzele albe. daca nu vorbim, nu vorbim nici cand ai nevoie sa te ajut cu ceva. daca nu ne cunoastem si nu ne salutam, facem asta in fiecare zi, si nu doar cand esti mai cu nasul pe sus. 

si daca pana acum, asta nu a fost clar, o sa fie de maine. pentru ca despre asta este respectul. reciproc. 

(despre un om urat care azi, a insistat sa imi demonstreze, a cata oara? ca in lumea lui conteaza banii, iar ceilalti sunt doar mijloace pe acest drum.)

My Pluto

Pluto–The people who have a strong Pluto are more primal and with that, more passionate. This would include the Scorpio Ascendant, which has Pluto as his Chart Ruler, by definition. If Pluto conjuncts a personal planet such as the Sun, Moon, Mercury,Mars or Venus, you will have a more passionate person. Pluto makes passionate what it touches.

Lilith–A person with Lilith prominent in the chart will have more raw sexual passion that someone who does not.

Scorpio - There are some astrologers who believe that Lilith is the co-ruler of Scorpio, along with Pluto. When placed here, she is powerfully sexual, hypnotic, seductive and wise. When under a negative influence, she can become bitter, vengeful or obsessed. 

Relationships that involve Lilith energy are initiatory, soul-to-soul meetings that open into a deeper center where personal and impersonal experience merge.

The Black Moon point is where we are lured into the mystery. She insists that we feel through, let go, surrender to something essential and transparent in us that is primary, the bedrock beneath the shifting sands, the passion of the soul. It is a corridor into the heart through which we are lured to discover our deepest truth, the longings and yearnings of our souls and thereby leading us to the deeper truth within our heart, the longings and yearnings of our souls.

Lilith Conjunct Pluto:

You are deeply and profoundly connected to each other on a soul level. There is a transforming quality to your s^Ie'x^lual expression and the deep emotions that surface when you are together. With the acceptance of the unconscious content that surface, you feel empowered individually. As a result the two of you together will be a powerful force, for each other and in the world. You are able to reach a level of intimacy together that can really fulfill you.

Lilith can be a very 'dark night of the soul' type energy. Aligned with Pluto, she may feel pretty empowered , for better or worse. Without seeing it's context in the chart it is hard to know which of the following options are most relevant. 

The conjunction COULD attract Scorpionic type partners into your life, some of whom bring out the worst in you. 
It could be you who are being the Scorpionic partner, and perhaps causing needless drama, jealous skirmishes, and emotional destruction along your wide path.
OR, hopefully, you are working upon your destiny of becoming a healer and a counselor, and you have a powerful way to help others heal from their deep, painful wounds.

"Lilith is said to bring denial, chaos and frustration to the area of the life ruled by the house in which she is located."

Mine! Mine!

The 2nd house is yours- everything in it belongs to you. The value that you assign to your own abilities determines how other people see those abilities. The more you value yourself, the more other people will value you. What innate talents and gifts do you have that other people might want? How much value do you place on your own abilities? How much do you think you’re worth?

People with many planets in the 2nd house have many personal talents and resources to offer other people. Some of them recognize their worth and make fair exchanges for their services. These people value themselves and their intrinsic gifts. Others, who do not recognize what they have to offer, live with their personal resources untapped.

purtatorilor mei de grija, partea a 2-a

Cera se uita la mine inocent. Iar nu ma intelege. Nu vorbesc limba ei azi.

Dintre lucrurile care nu s-au sters, pentru ca sunt despre mine: imi amintesc o dimineata in care mergeam la univ, cu ochii in asfalt. Pentru ca, oricum as fi incercat sa ii ridic, era imposibil. Si imi amintesc cum nu puteam vorbi despre “de ce”. Pentru ca insistam sa ma lovesc de un zid pana am facut balta de sange si vise.

Nu pot vorbi despre asta. Not now, not ever. Cu nimeni. Nu mai insistati.

Eu inteleg ca imi vreti binele, dar intelegeti ca nu vreau sa vorbesc pentru ca nu pot sa formulez in cuvinte care sa faca sens. In lumea asta. Nu pot sa descriu in cuvinte.

Hai sa ne vedem fiecare de viata proprie.