the day she vanished..

i remembered it today as it was yesterday.
aproape ca mi-a cutremurat intelegerea despre lucrurile care v-au apropiat, si lucrurile care mereu ne vor indeparta.

a clean cut. si toate lucrurile pe care le stiam in comun au disparut. intelegerea, cuvintele, timpul dintre noi. lumea impartita, tot. curat ca si cum nu ar fi fost niciodata. si niciodata, nici macar intr-o zi nu i-am simtit lipsa, chiar daca am zis asta din cand in cand, atunci cand mi-am amintit ca exista.

pentru ca, intr-o zi, prea visatoare si naiva, am inteles ca pentru ea, oamenii erau impartiti in 2 categorii: cu bani, si fara bani. si nu am avut curajul sa o intreb in ce categorie ma pusese pe mine, si in ce categorie erai tu. mi-a fost imposibil sa inteleg cum poti sa vezi lucrurile intr-un anume fel, si totusi, sa intelegi ca in viata asta, cel mai important criteriu de delimitare intre oamenii sunt banii. and still, even today... nu inteleg.

dar inteleg acum, azi, de ce mi-ai repetat ca nu ma poti vedea altfel. pentru ca nu sunt in categoria care trebuie. pentru ca, la fel ca ea, si tu, si altii, asezati oamenii in 2 categorii. poate ar trebui sa fac si eu la fel.

oare Bach a facut imparteala asta?

comes back to me.. the feeling i had when you moved away. about the reasons.

there is a pattern for all your kind. the same. verified. un sablon simplu, care nu include pasiune in el. fara apa, fara aer. fara nori. fara lumina, fara vise. doar pamant. pamant adunat, all yours.

un sablon pe care ar fi bine sa nu il uit. pe care ar  fi bine sa imi amintesc sa il verific from now on everytime. pentru ca iti inteleg acum alegerile. pentru ca din nou, viata a avut grija sa ma lamureasca despre mine. despre cum ar trebui sa fiu absolut convinsa de ceea ce simt. everytime. indiferent cine ar vrea sa ma convinga altfel.

apa curge, e clara. limpede, adanca, tulbure cateodata. klara.

who i am } {

somehow, between the lines, beneath the walls, i will not forget who i am.
ever

somehow, people always leave. we seem to be so afraid to see.. that we leave, closing our eyes in front of all that could have been.

but, even with all that's happening, i will not forget.

i am well. i will be better. i will always care, love, trust. maybe, the wrong people, but the world i choose to live in, will always be there for me.

i will always feel free in a gothic cathedral. even if it's not written on my face right now.

i will always remember the way you called me in this life. maybe it's you that let me fall.
maybe you did not trust me i can fly. maybe you did.

real love is forever. forever equals the past lives, the present, the future ones. 

C from capri

somewhere, along the way, i carved a letter on my skin. long time ago. i don't even remember when..
i remember, but i never accepted the reality of it.

for a long time i forgot where it came from. ..green eyed..

tonight, as i stumbled upon RM's right here waiting for you.. came back to me.

pieces of puzzle come together at all times. i remember now, confronting Saturn's indifference another time, way too long. i remember growing stronger as i proved what i am all about. i remember also the hiding after. hiding is not about indifference. hiding is about fear of letting things fall together.

whatever you go, whatever you do.. on repeat. for tonight i am dreaming.

dreamin' the green sparkles in your eyes, the smile, the laughs.

seeing you now.. sadness took the place of where my dreams stood.
part of the ice around me belongs to you. hidden part of me..

water..

make a hole new religion...

i was never good at knowing people. still, i felt that something is not right.. that's why, i finally chose to let it rule. feeling.

i would have liked to be able to write you, but now, you cannot read. 

there comes a time in life when you think you know someone, you think you understand someone.. you start taking for granted.

lol.

trying to reach a pattern.. does not fit me. 

don't know me by now. sad. maybe because all the water. water cures.

Multumesc, Domnule Timp!

..and THE day is over.

si pentru ca: I WON! ma duc, domnule Timp sa fac o lista lunga. lunga. cu termene. o scriu azi, si o sa o public pe masura ce se implinesc. e  buna afacerea asta ?

nu mai conteaza maine. I WON today! 

maine, desigur, va fi mai bine. pt ca, from all the things i've learned lately, the best is - to trust you that you still have the magic. :) i know. i've always knew. doar ca nu te-am crezut suficient de in stare sa te transformi in fat frumos. 

thank you for all you've done for me these days. first of all for not letting me fall. for keeping me up. then for keeping me sane. and helping me get healthy. for the indigo cure you gave me. for hope. for the love that i feel surrounding me so clear and so close. thank you.

thank you for dreaming with me. thank you for letting me know you are here.

PS: pentru toti feti frumosii din lumea asta care ar putea crede ca e despre ei, ei bine, NU. este exclusiv despre Timp. Beautiful Mr. Time.

playlist for today - 2 march - stars starting to align..

playlist for todays healing

RBD - solo quedate in silencio
Dulce - No pares
mai ramai putin
tu..
romanta cu parfum
taina
o mie de ganduri..
bad day
you're beautiful
here without you
this is how you remind me
in the end
under the bridge
don't cry
unforgiven ii
time of your life
iris
unwell
wake me up when september ends
resistance
soley soley

vine primavara!!

terminat si ultima comanda de martisoare de anul asta. even as obsessed as you think i am, and still i have time to do all those little things life needs me here for..

merry spring for all of you flowers outthere!! :)

ma indrept spre o bucata de hartie care asteapta cerneala mova. poate nu dorm azi.
poate daca nu dorm azi, maine gasesc la ikea rama din aia mare din care imi trebuie pentru urmatoarea pictura. :)

poate gasesc si pantofii rosii. de fiecare data cand ii caut nu ii gasesc. why is that?

a trecut luna februarie. o declar nula. :)

incepe primavara. si zicea cineva azi .. in franceza: ca doar stim toti ca dupa iarna vine primavara. da, vine sigur! si vine sigur pentru ca fluturele din mine trebuie sa vada putin soare si sa isi coloreze aripile.